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Nothing to Hide (Samson and Delilah)

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.” 

Judges 16:15

READ Judges 16:1-22.

In just one verse, we’re told that the herculean judge was head over heels in love. Soon word got back to the Philistine leaders that Samson had his eye on Delilah, and they presented her a deal she couldn't refuse. “Tell us how to make him weak,” they said, “and we will reward you handsomely.”A girl from the valley couldn't walk away from the money they offered her. In this sad tale, Samson fell in love. Delilah fell in luck!

At first glance,  it seems impossible to find a lesson from the illicit marriage between Samson and Delilah; they were exact opposites. Samson possessed supernatural strength since he was young. Delilah’s name meant weakened or feeble. Samson was a Judge of the Jews. Delilah was a relatively unknown woman from the valley. He was strong and had a history of otherworldly encounters with the Philistines. The Philistines hired her to destroy her new beau - the Israelite judge. He was on a mission for God, and she was on a mission to find out the source of his strength. 

Samson was in love, yet Delilah questioned his affections for her because he repeatedly refused to share his deepest secrets with her. Maybe he knew better. Possibly, he felt in his heart that she wasn’t the one. We will never know the answers to those inquiries, but we can glean a lesson from their ever so strange union. Samson and Delilah give us a measuring tool through which we can assess true love. 

That answer is found in vs. 15.  “How can you say I love you when you won’t confide in me.” It was Delilah’s final audible request of Samson, but one that will go down on the wrong side of history. She was wrong for her question but right in her assessment of love. If Samson truly loved her, he would share his most intimate secrets with his spouse. 

Here’s the key to this story - to what level do you stop sharing? What do you hold back? Where do you draw the line and say I’ll share up to this point but no further? In a loving relationship, everything is on the table. In a marriage where real love resides, secrets are absent, and one’s life is laid bare. When I withhold from my spouse, she is not getting all of me - and that’s not love. 

Thought Questions

  • Are there areas in your life that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your spouse? How would your marriage improve if you were willing/able to share secrets?
  • What are some ways to build trust with your spouse to create an atmosphere that welcomes open and honest dialogue?

Life Lessons

  • True love REQUIRES transparency. 

Further Study

Read Matthew 22:37. Truly loving one another has to start with loving God. Discuss with your spouse ways to support each other in growing closer to God. As you grow in your love for God, it will pour over into your relationship with each other.